12 Days of Christmas Confessions – Day 10: Messy is my most successful vibe

Messy. Raw. Here and there and everywhere. A little bit all over the place and then BAM – ! There she goes.

This is the way I flow and have ALWAYS flown (flowed? Flew?) if I’m honest and it’s also my favourite way to be.

When I am IN it … in the place where it just comes and keeps on coming, where I not only release an outpouring but become the outpouring, when I know that I know that I know that I’m operating in and from what God has put in me and it’s a supernatural thing, what is also true is I DON’T CARE ONE TINY LITTLE BIT that it’s not all neat and tidy and polished and purty for you.

I do not care.

I do not care if there is a flow in whatever the market-y or growth-y or trend-y peoples say, because there is a flow which makes it all flow within ME when I let go,

and wait for expect and ALLOW that flow.

But when I am thinking a lot.

When I get frustrated, or scared, or into second-guessing.

When I am caught on a loop of wondering who I am, and how to be.

Then, I think it needs to be polished. Perfect. Proper. And just so.

I write myself journal notes about what my ongoing ‘look’ should be. I brainstorm on ideas for systematic consistent content. I devise marketing plans. Ones I know will work, because I don’t have 20 years and 30 mil+ made in this industry under my belt for nothing!

But these plans and schemes and ideas, these are the things I despise.

Not just for myself.

But whenever I see them in somebody who is clearly doing what they’re apparently meant to do instead of letting the fire burn burn burn BURNNNNNN that is unique to them.

To be clear.

I don’t think the true fire can’t co-exist with marketing or growth-orientated systems or strategy.

In fact I think the best, and unique to you, systems or strategy come FROM that true fire.

It just comes down to ‘but is it actually alive?’. For you. In this moment.

Don’t matter if it was as recent as yesterday, is it living breathing pulsing beating NOW?

Can I feel its bloody heartbeat?

And can I feel yours?

This is the messy I want.

This is the messy I am here for.

I repent to God and my people for trying to be better rather than simply being me.

So this is my confession today.

Messy is my vibe.

Messy is my truth.

Messy is the art God PUT in me.

And messy doesn’t mean what we think it does, when the mess is the beautiful brilliance of the heartbeat of God coming out of you, breath by breath,

and day by day.

NOW CHECK THIS OUT – !

I am doing a new thing which God has given me!

Would you like to join?

2026 Designed to Be a Dreamer (live!) 5 day challenge and it starts next week.

https://katrinaruthministries.com/dreamerchallenge

For the women who burn and burn and burn, and want to keep on burning.

I love you.

Kat