12 Days of Christmas Confessions Day 2: The Same-Sameyness of the Christian-preneur

If there’s one thing I’ve absolutely loathed since the begin of my journey in the online world, especially about 5 or 6 years in when perfectly polished and poised female coaches started to be mass produced at some kind of Find Your Niche and Flip Your Hair Factory, it’s stepford ‘preneurialisim.

And I would have thought.

If I woulda thought about it.

That the one ones submitted to God, and the very many who have found their way to Him, the one true way, in the last few years. Would have, I dunno?

Yielded to the fire which is unique for THEM to carry and finally let THAT out? But apparently the faith-led world is pretty easily just another place where humans gonna human.

Shocker.

I think I find it so annoying because a) I see it in myself at times, b) I fear it in myself, and c) it’s part of my call to call it right out in myself AND others, guns blazing like.

Prepare yourself.

The repetitive are-you-kidding-me-that-you-can’t-see-this-in-yourself BLAHness of it all.

The perfect holy smile or thoughtful head-inclined selfie, any full body shots of course taken or, sorry, AI’d, in a carefully chosen flowy meadow-y sort of a way. Just in case we forgot for a sec that you’re Proverbs 31-ing over there.

The insistent and determined rants against all things potentially (and probably!) demonic.

The endless summits and podcasts, all just another version of the exact same thing.

And the formulas. Oh man, the formulas. Of getting a message out to the world that is carefully curated to say Jesus girl except the bulk entirety of it came from some kind of chuck-it-in-a-blender-and-put-your-own-face on it recipe of, well … what every other Jesus girl in the coaching world is doing.

I mean, none of it is BAD, unless by bad you mean NOT WHAT THE SPIRIT OF GOD PROMPTED YOU TO DO, so, yeah … I dunno.

I dunno YOUR convictions and where they came from. But I tell you what I do wonder which makes me think I do, and that is where is the FIRE?!

The fire that burns only in YOU, the fire which was lit with holy oil and can’t be put out, the fire which is SOAKED in the incense of the Spirit and can’t.be.missed.

I KNOW it’s there for you.

I KNOW it’s there in the quiet times you have with Him, and it’s come out AT times in what you release of Him, but have you got more focused on saying and being a God thing than letting the God thing actually just flow?

It’s ok.

Been there.

Done that.

Got the t-shirt and wore it for a hot minute but so help me God I’d rather say NOTHING.

Than inadvertently slip into some kind of peppy Jesus-filtered flow of first sternly admonishing everyone via my own perfected life, then once again dropping testimony while singing Christian Kumbaya with my fellow renewed sisters yet DID GOD ACTUALLY MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME NOT TO DO THAT?

Surely NOW more than ever we know that if it’s not the pure fire it shouldn’t be let out!

And so here is my confessional for today.

Nope.

It wasn’t that I hate stepford-preneurialism; that’s not new information!

It’s that I let myself get so scared of wrong focus, wrong message, wrong spirit, or my own carnal want to be seen, liked, validated, and successful.

That I allow that to impact my showing up rather than actually acting in trust to know that God HIMSELF will cause what He has put in me to come out, and it’s not up to me to edit it, judge it, critique it.

Maybe you think it’s also not up to me to sit here judging what other women in Christ are doing, but I’d beg to differ on that.

In the body we literally ARE to judge and call one another into right being in Jesus, and a big part of what I’ve been put here for is to poke. To prod. To STIR. And to tear down temples built, however inadvertently, to identity anyplace outside of what God uniquely put in YOU.

Receive it or don’t receive it, that’s up to you. YOU know if it’s for you.

Just as I know when it’s for me.

You KNOW if you need to lean back and wait on a higher standard, God’s true standard for you.

The fire He has put in YOUR mouth.

To the women who burn with something which makes your BONES weary from not letting it out (and oh how I cried at how real that verse in Jeremiah 20:9 is for me when my Pastor spoke it to me last week!), this is for you AND me:

STOP.

1) STOP just DOING what makes sense to do.

Start a podcast, change the existing podcast, do a summit, record the same YouTubes as every other Christian influencer or coach out there, interview every freaking person that ever came to God and all talk about your stories, okay COOL and I’m sure they’re epic stories but, erm, IS that the fire He gave you? Jesus journalist and Prov. 31 demon-rousing advocate? Is it? If it is then awesome! It definitely is for someone!

Is it in that WAY for you though?

Just a question.

If you suspect you’re on a runaway train you’re not quite sure how you got on then stop it. ALWAYS stop it.

2) Please stop being perfect and holy online.

Especially while simultaneously stating that you know you’re not and He is and that’s the point.

Yes it is the point and don’t worry, nobody THINKS you’re perfect, but your relentless repetitive preaching of a sermon God didn’t give you is just, well … a delay. On what He did.

3) False fire is EASY.

You and I know that, OH how we know it, have lived it, have learned it! But have you thought about the fact that being the polished and experienced professional you are, when you just start churning out God content it is really REALLY easy for it to be false fire and you didn’t even notice?

How to know it’s false fire:

It didn’t burn right THROUGH you to get out of you.

You just did it because it’s a good idea. And because it’s true! And people need to hear! And you have something to say about it! And, oh, what’s that other thing? Yeah that little thing of being so used to an identity of producing that it’s just too weird not to and you don’t even catch when you’re printing counterfeits instead of waiting for the fresh oil.

The videos, posts, stories, productions, even entire programs which just aren’t quite sitting right in you right now yet they absolutely look the part and even got you the part of a response from OTHERS?

These are likely the runaway train you need to step out of, even if it takes you way more time and surrender than you’d like to truly catch His beat just for YOU. Especially then.

4) Maybe you aren’t MEANT to rebrand everything with a #holy filter or name. Maybe you are? But maybe you aren’t!

I mean, c’mon! Can we even see the YOU in it anymore? You do know God is the one who designed you, yeah? HE GOT IT RIGHT YOU DON’T NEED TO GOD WASH YOURSELF RIGHT OUT OF IT. He wants to shine THROUGH you not without you.

Look around at your own stuff.

What is good, seems Godly, on the surface but if you’re honest it just … doesn’t have life. You want to justify with every bone in your body that it does and blah blah blah reasons!

But it doesn’t.

The fire of the Lord is palpable. It is either there or it’s not there.

If it’s not there that doesn’t mean it’s not for you, and I know you know THAT. So wait on it and GET it.

5) SHOW UP ANYWAY.

No I am not being contradictory actually! By show up anyway I don’t mean ‘always do or say something anyway’.

Show up in front of GOD. Let your responsibility and response and discipline be in coming before HIM, and your content or creation from the overflow of that only.

But don’t get scared.

I have let myself get way too scared this past year.

I so deeply don’t want to be like everyone else because I so deeply burn to walk the path of destiny God put in me and that alone, but the devil can grab hold of that real quick and convince me I better second-guess everything, or just do nothing.

That can spin easily into pride, ‘oh, I’m not going to do this or that because I’m different to everyone!’

Hear me:

You ABSOLUTELY SHOULD DO THE PODCAST, SUMMIT, BOOK, RANTY POSTS, DECLARATIONS AND DECREES OVER AND OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD THAT YOU PUBLICISE, or whatever else, if that’s what God gave you and what can’t NOT come out of you, in the way He gave it to come out!

Which brings us to:

6) Discernment.

I can’t stand false light and false fire because by the Spirit of God I can discern it in a heartbeat.

I’ve always had this discernment, and I guess it’s the same reason I railed so heavily against all the bland boring same-same behaviour in the female entrepreneur world all these past years.

I called it out and in doing so the message I let out called the called ones forward into who they really were.

That’s still what I’m here to do.

Just with right identity in Christ at the centre and forefront now!

If you have discernment to test and recognise the spirits – and if you have the Holy Spirit you do, but some people have a supernatural gift of heightened discernment – then you also know when you’re operating from the not-quiet-right-place in you.

I know it’s scary to pull back.

And as I said I know it’s scary to think ‘but what if I move forward wrong?!’

I can easily turn in 88 circles in a day questioning back and forth on the exact same thing!

But if I’m gonna walk forward in who God made me to be, and this confessional series is my ripping of the bandaid to say I AM, then I do have to take a deep breath and open my mouth ‘even though’ maybe I’m not saying the right thing.

I have to start writing anyway.

I have to record anyway.

I AM going to dream anyway, write the vision and make it plain anyway.

And I’ll say yes to taking the first step I believe God gives me anyway.

So … start the thing. Or stop the thing! Depending what you got from this.

Just know this:

There IS a fire God uniquely has put in you.

But without air fire doesn’t start burning at all.

And if you’re filling yourself up with all your ideas and assumptions of what God version you looks like but you didn’t get it in certainty in His PRESENCE, then girl you’re on the wrong diet.

Jesus let this message be clear for who it is for.

And let the breath of the Lord cause the ignition of you in each of us.

Amen.

Tell me what you think. And for the love of God, LITERALLY, please release the imprisoned personality.

Kat