I’ve been hiding my frustration and making it wrong, and today God got me ANNOYED about it

I’ve been hiding my frustration and making it wrong, and today?

God got me ANNOYED about it. REAL annoyed. In fact I’d almost say hopping MAD!

You know when you don’t quite notice yourself dialling back a thing?

When you got so good at convincing yourself that a thing was meant to be SOME kind of thing, that you didn’t really notice the bit where it became absolutely entirely NOT the thing which could ever be, well –

your thing.

I don’t know about you. But for me how this looks?

– Convincing myself to expect less

– Gee-ing myself up to be ENTHUSED about said less, the premise being that maybe it is good for me in some way and YAY GROWTH and character, or that maybe it’s what I really want anyway, and God is gonna show me

– Adjusting my outlook to match my environment rather than my vision, without even clocking the fact that that environment is self-created and perpetuated anyway, and really?

A flat out lack of faith.

Oh MAN, I got annoyed when I realised this. At first I thought I’m annoyed at God. And I told Him! I let it all come burning and bubbling out, from the place where I realised I was holding back and pretending to be okay with things which actually in NO way matched my vision or desire, because some part of me has STILL been not wanting to rock the boat in any place of authority.

Meaning … as IF I’m gonna go to God and say ‘this sucks! This is not what I believe for my life! This is not what I think YOU gave me vision for. This is not it!’, because if I would do that?

(Insert old teachers pet pattern). I’d get in trouble. Not be a good girl. And also (ding ding ding!) … show I’m not strong enough to just ride it out.

Ahhhhh … is there anyone else out there recognising today that you’ve been expecting less than because some part of you thinks it demonstrates your ability or even obedience to do what it takes by being ABLE to handle the desert, the prolonged wilderness, or even (gasp!) the BONDAGE from which you’re meant to be already free?

Here’s what I hit God with over one or two things which I’ve been trying to figure out lately, and get my faith behind. Which I thought I did have faith behind! Which I didn’t even realise I was getting ABOUT TO BOIL levels of annoyed about –

“God I feel like you’ve been letting me swill in it down here when you could just pluck me out and show me the exact prayer or decree to cause what should to be. Why can’t you just do that?! Why do I feel like I’m on some kind of endless treasure hunt sometimes and I keep missing clues! It’s frustrating and I AM frustrated!”

If you’re the kind of person who regularly vents your frustration out at God please understand that as a person who has long PRIDED (yep) herself on being able to put up, keep up, cope, do what it takes beyond anyone else, and who is also international champion level expert at reframing things into why it’s ‘obviously’ a good thing … this was big for me. To say I’m not okay at all actually about this. To God.

Here’s what I wrote next. And this is facts. And also where I started to see that it was God HIMSELF who had led me to get annoyed today.

“BUT THEN. I do see! Obviously.

– I need to grow strong in my faith and certainty for you to perform your Word. If I just ‘get everything’ without walking that faith out, well, that wouldn’t be faith!

– You’re not helping me as my Father if you don’t let me learn

– You ARE guiding me even now

– You MAKE SURE I ‘get there’ wherever there is, staring from within me

– You’re leading me to a place where I UNDERSTAND your flow and overflow in all areas of my creativity, self, life, and thus how to continue to command and receive it in your Name

– Your ways are higher and better always!

And then I started to think about what I KNOW.

Like how God TOLD me to insist on things which I’ve been more, erm … hoping for cautiously. Hoping with HUMAN hope, not the kind which is certainty, the hope of all that is in Jesus!

Or like how God told me it’s ME who has to command certain things. And how I’ve been … maybe declaring or decreeing or saying said things, but not standing firm and steadfast in knowing my word IS of God and WILL split and rearrange the atmosphere.

Or like how there’s a part of me where I still think, but surely. Surely, right? Surely I need to prove myself a little bit more. Like … daily. Or else why would I deserve to just … receive?

Ugh! I don’t do this in every area PS. Some areas I receive like I know who I am and whose I am and that’s just what’s UP! Other areas I seem to add in conditions which never came from God about how my own efforts or understanding need to be demonstrated.

And I realised.

All of a sudden.

I’ve been adjusting myself continually to be able to ‘ride out’ things which, if I simply stood firm in faith, I truly believe in my spirit BY His Spirit, would rearrange in a heartbeat.

With whatever action needed from me just … done.

I realised I’ve been expecting things to not work, or to be painstaking. Accepting making do.

And hiding my frustration and making it wrong, because I am so rarely the one to say HEY, that’s not ok. Unless it’s to the whole entire internet obviously, or, I guess, when I reach the point of conviction. THEN I’ve been known for sure for sure at causing some ruckus.

And it hit me –

Nothing will change if I continue to believe there is a reason God is allowing me to walk through this ‘less than’ place in certain parts of my life.

Or if I keep even entertaining the idea that maybe I am MEANT to accept this, or even like it!

Or if I think there’s a ‘magic button’ to unlock what’s already in God because girl I do KNOW the hold up is not on His end.

And so I wrote for me AND for you –

Stop thinking “maybe God wants me to be okay with this or that or any kind of ‘not in the place of rest and provision and blessings and overflow’ thing”.

No! That is not what He says!

That is a SATANIC idea, wrapped up to look like humility and being okay with your lot as a virtue, when God is the one who gave us VISION, and also CHARGES us to walk forward in the fullness of what He did for us and what He puts in us!

This is LIES! It’s FALSE humility, pride. And a denial of God’s Word on what Jesus did.

The truth is you and I?

We are the walking word of the Lord on this earth!

We are RESPONSIBLE to walk forward in and also think | speak | expect into being what He puts in us.

He did not make us to become the median of the environment AROUND us, we’re meant to become the outcome of the one IN us, which is Him!

Jesus died that we might have life. And life abundantly.

Guess who comes to steal, kill, and destroy that, and you with it?

Guess how he, the devil, loves to do that for women like you and I?

CONVINCE US WE ARE WRONG ABOUT WHAT WE DREAM OF.

When our dreams are a huge part of how God manifests His will through us!

Oh man oh man, but that it were not a THING to get your own human stuff tangled up in God’s plan for you.

But then again,

here is what is certain:

He does lead us. He IS leading you right now if you’re His. And so He Himself WILL lead you through your own mess.

Personally I reckon God saves me from myself about 18x a day.

So let it be known.

And let it be seen.

TODAY IS THE DAY WE SAY YES TO WHAT GOD HAS PUT IN US TO SEE.

But only the whole entire version of it, and only ALWAYS, yep even if right now you think you can’t see.

He has got you girl. His plan for you is CRAZY good. And all you need to do?

GET UP AND SCREAM YES.

Now don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

PS

THE LEADER SWITCH THE LEADER SWITCH THE LEADER SWITCH.

Are you COMING?

I’m talking to the woman who KNOWS.

She KNOWS she is called.
Has always known it!
Yet the weight of the she’s called INTO is CRUSHING when she tries to figure it out through her own strength, mind, will, ability.
She has questioned.
OH, how she has questioned!
Yet she has BUILT. OH, how she has built!
Success? Sure.
Yet somehow never the thing.
Somehow sabotage still present.
Somehow that voice still whispering way too often,
‘maybe it’s not you’.
And the true thing?
She’s wondered if she’ll ever fully step into it.
Yet she knows with certainty,
by the grace of God,
SHE CAN.

If this is you, hi, YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

I built a business to tens of millions of dollars of income received, I was one of the most well known and successful coaches in the online space, I coached and mentored the best of the best, and if I’m honest there is not a leader at ANY level or in ANY office I am nervous to come before, because I know God gives me the words and I always just KNOW.

It’s a supernatural thing.

And yet I still so often questioned ‘can I really do this, and what if I screw it up or miss something, and why AM I missing something still?’

I spent years knowing there was more.
Still battling lies.
Fighting to believe I can be worthy to be who God made me to be!

And to be honest I am SO glad I walked through all of that, to have the perspective I do now, but I am SO glad I DID walk through it all and am here, now calling YOU.

WOMAN OF GOD, IT’S TIME FOR THE CALLED ONES OF THE LORD TO RISE.

As a called one, with a voice to impact and make millions, I believe it is critical you understand that it is part and parcel of it to have doubt!

But you do have to at some point DECIDE to get up and see past that doubt. To take a deep breath and say now this thing comes about, and only at the fullest of how I see it in me; in fact – beyond!

Which brings us to this –

THE LEADER SWITCH.

A dance.
A battle march.
A NOW is the time switch flick.
And a returning, finally, fully, to who you always were.

Work with me for 6 weeks personally to explode your business, brand, identity, and income FROM the place God already gave it to you to be, and completely re-activate your faith, boldness, and certainty to rip out every lie over your calling and BE THAT WOMAN YOU WERE SENT HERE TO BE, doing what you love and were born for!

WE ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN.

Details + your place?

Here.

Stop expecting less.

thinking “maybe God wants me to be this or that