THE WORK YOU DEEPLY BELIEVE IN

I’ve had more torrid dalliances this year with work I was never meant to do and couldn’t believe in less if I tried than what I’ve had in my entire life as a writer and creator, and in well over two decades online.

I won’t call them love affairs because there’s not even a pretence of any love lost but there’s no denying I have let myself be ENTANGLED in unsavoury things in my mind on repeat, rather than holding out for the true thing which I deep down know it gets to be.

Entangled with awful and highly suspect ideas which start with things like ‘well maybe I SHOULD’, and ‘I guess that’s just how it is now’, and ‘if only I could get myself to’, and ‘I guess it’s not THAT big of a deal if I > insert adjustment to true work here <‘.

Perhaps you know some of these unsavoury characters yourself?

Perhaps they whisper to you, cajole you, or outright scream at you that you HAVE to heed them, or else!

And somewhere inside of you, whether or not you actually get up and follow through on creating the God-awful not what you came here to do thing that these ideas are suggesting you must, a little piece of your soul breaks off and sighs.

Sighing with the sound of one thousand sighs all combined together as once again you sideline the work it truly IS, because maybe you DO have to fit the current formula at least a little.

And you know what?

Maybe you do.

Maybe you do need to think twice, and then twice once more, before you write or create something.

Maybe you do need to run it through an AI filter of what’s working right now.

Maybe you do need to tap your heels just so, pirouette just so, keep your smile fixed PERFECTLY, and dance little pretty one, dance, or the people won’t throw peanuts for you, DANCE UNTIL YOU’RE ENOUGH, AND THEN KEEP DANCING SOME MORE.

But I don’t think that’s what you have to do.

And I don’t think you yourself really believe, in the place where you are your truest you, that that’s what you have to do.

I think, deep down in the place where you equally commune with God and your spirit SCREAMS at you to let it breathe, you know that you can do the work you deeply believe in, and that you must.

Do you know an artist?

One who truly creates what is in them, and it is UNCONTAINABLE?

One who breaks every rule that was ever made but doesn’t have any real consideration of doing that, is certainly not trying to do it, didn’t set out to try and prove something, just DOES do it so wildly, so differently, so freely, so THEM-ly, that they are unquestionably a category of one?

Maybe you don’t know one personally, but you’ve seen these outliers and of COURSE you have, because you’re magnetically drawn to those who you came here to in some way be like, those whose very BEING gives you something to glean from, grow from, and receive.

They CATCH you.

On a social media platform.

Or in a gallery.

Or on some wall art.

In a documentary, a film, a book.

Or in stories which will never grow old because it’s always so magnetic to hear tale of the person who just did the thing ANYWAY, and people who mostly do NOT do the thing anyway love to share that kind of a story and scoop up a little bit of awe just by being the teller.

My love,

you are a person who is just meant to do the thing ANYWAY.

You are one of the outliers even in a group entirely made up of outliers!

YOU,

are a born messenger.
artist.
creative.
poet.
and vessel, meant to release something extraordinary, otherwise not seen or known, and ENTIRELY APROPOS OF NOTHING THE WORLD AROUND IS SAYING IT SHOULD BE,

or think that it needs.

Your very words break ground.
The colours and sounds you release shape the land.
The atmosphere is changed by what you CARRY.
And you are meant to be releasing it unfiltered, untamed, unconfined because it CAN’T be.

So when you do go to release something … containable. Make-sense-able. You can be sure from the get go that THAT AIN’T THE THING.

It’s not the work you deeply believe in.

It’s the work you think you must do.

The season of questioning I’ve gone through this year reminds me of being in my early and mid-twenties and continually trying new things. (Well, that started in my early-mid months after being born just about!)

In my twenties I threw a million ideas at the wall as a writer and speaker, trying to find something that would ‘work’.

And eventually, by accident, really, I found my way into writing, speaking, creating, online.

As I became used to that being part of my life, and long before the gods of the internet ascended to try and tell everybody what to do, I just … flowed.

I did the work I deeply believed in because the very few people who told me I couldn’t were less believable to me than the certainty that I COULD, and because I DECIDED I WAS GOING TO ANYWAY.

I had no proof it would work, but I KNEW it would.

And I was prepared to die trying.

This year has been a questioning year, I believe, because of a loss of the HABIT of flowing as much as anything.

It’s funny, I used to teach what I would do if I lost everything I’d built, my multi-million $$ business, but still had my knowledge from all those years.

Well I didn’t lose it, but I did intentionally set it down and let it almost completely dissolve.

And now, I’m back.

Realising, wow. I’m actually pretty much in that position, of having only baby rivulets of ‘results’ once more, yet with all the knowledge and years of experience tucked away inside of me.

The question is, am I going to take my own advice?

Am I going to let the message be the message and only do the work I DEEPLY believe in, or am I going to believe that it’s a different era now and I need to adapt?

Like I said, I’ve dallied with conformity this year a lot.

I’ve almost believed it at times.

But in the end, there’s a not so tiny issue of I don’t have it IN me to conform to internet-ing the way I’m apparently meant to.

So it’s really quite by the by whether I think I should. Which I do not.

The thing with adaptation is –

It’s happening anyway.

You’re adjusting as a person.

Your tastes change, your desires change, God willing they come deeper into alignment with who you truly are, your outlook changes, maybe your why even changes. What you talk about, chase after, invest in, are interested in, consume, are entertained by, preach about, laugh about, live for, it all just keeps flowing.

So why don’t you and me both just let THAT be the flow, trust that it’s enough, and stop editing or curating or leaving bits out but instead just get back to letting the business AND the message reveal every bit which is meant to come out of you?!

LIKE AN ARTIST,
WHO BELIEVES SHE REALLY CAME HERE TO RELEASE SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY, BUT MORE STILL EVEN THAN THAT?

Like one who admits she can’t not.

Now don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

PS

The Alignment & Activation Bootcamp is starting live with me NOW.

Our first live training is tomorrow, and the group & pre-work is waiting for you!

Time to remember who you always were gorgeous, and then?

Become it.

BELLS ON VERSION.

Were you thinking something else?!

https://katrinaruthministries.com/alignmentactivationbootcamp