You can do this.
You can actually do this, girl.
You can pick it up again. Walk it forward again. Be the person again, even though TG you’re never gon’ be exactly THAT person again. You can DECIDE again, and then?
You can just did the thing already of whatever it is you’re meant to be doing.
AND THEN SHE JUST DID (yes the bad grammar was on purpose) has LONG been one of my favourite expressions, teachings, and much needed smackdowns back to self.
“How’d you write your first book, Kat?”, was the question, many years ago now, which really highlighted this truth for me. I’d been putting off writing a book for YEARS. How many? Let’s just say ALL of them.
Finally, in 2011, I decided:
If I just show up for a very average amount of time each day, like 25 minutes (hey Pomodoro!), but I do it consistently, I’m SURE I can write a book this year.
I finished it by April. Out of well over 60 books I’ve published since then (most deleted now due to Christ in me renewal!) that one has steadily been the best-seller.
How’d I do it?
I FINALLY JUST DID.
The truth is, many many parts of me don’t want to pick my business up again. That’s what I think, when I think! That I just don’t WANNA be her anymore, not even in a new or now way. That I don’t have to anyway. So there!
Resistance is … resistance-y.
And the truth is I never did it because I HAD to. I wanted, always, to find my way into purpose, destiny, alignment, and yes – the letting out of what was in me, for you.
You too?
Yeah … I thought so. And also … ?
It doesn’t go away.
It’s NOT going to go away. That piece of you which you cam in-built with? IT’S CODED IN.
#originaldesign, baby, ain’t no getting ’round it.
My son and my daughter said to me yesterday in different ways, independent of each other, without hearing each other, “I think you just have to accept that you’re a Mercedes person”.
I just picked up my brand new Toyota Prado last week. Which I ordered 15 months ago because I thought … be more normal. Be less about having to be a certain type of person.
I didn’t realise I was still ordering a car to make a statement. The statement was: I have arrived at humility and sensibility. LOLOLOLOL.
I hope I’m not undoing the profundity of this post by comparing a car brand to your original design and identity in God?!
The truth is I WAS a Toyota person; my first car was a Corolla and both my parents drove Toyota or still do. I could be a Toyota person again! (Let’s not comment on the fact I do still have my Merc C63s convertible)
It’s a GOOD ‘not trying to be too much’ long term car purchase.
And?
God never told me to try adjust my car preference, and doing so just doesn’t SIT right. I feel … odd.
When I don’t show up online, when I don’t pour out a fiery living breathing moving thing, I feel … odd.
There is a part of me which has thought PAH; I’m so done with the same same-ness of the online space; I am GLAD to be out of it. Praise God for deliverance from Egypt and that He’s doing a new thing with how He’s positioning me outside of the online space; probably THAT is what it’s all meant to be about for me now!
And yet,
it just didn’t quite sit right.
This “I’m not going to be her anymore” version of me.
When I ordered the car it took me SO long to decide, because I had opted out of being the girl who drives luxury vehicles and it just felt like there was not a single car out there I could see myself in. My ‘get over yourself; it’s just a car’ solution was … choose a practical long term investment that’s smart and also what most people would consider a great car to have.
I looked around at the world I live in; typical ‘Gold Coast but make it at least a little bit elevated yet without being pretentious’ vibes, and I chose the sum of that.
I think I’ve been doing the same thing with trying to get my flow back on online, for a WHILE now.
‘Online voice and vessel, but make it just a little bit elevated yet NOT TOO MUCH’.
Then wondering why I have no snap, no crackle, no pop, and also just don’t CARE.
GIRL I AM QUITE LITERALLY THE ORIGINAL TOO MUCH VOICE IN THIS HERE PLACE!
The reality is, when you walk through the stripping off season, when you start to walk in right identity in God, there WILL be things to lay down and surrender and they need NEVER come back. Balenciaga? Perfect example. That’s just common moral sense for ANY human who prefers not to support pedophilia and satanic ritual. And there are many other directly personal examples also, of what we need to be done with. GET to be done with.
But sometimes,
you pursued holiness and the fullness of who God made you to be, and missed the bit where you decided to invest a checklist for what that looked like.
Sometimes,
you very much DID need to pause or step back, but then fear got you and you MISSED THE BIT WHERE GOD DIDN’T SAY STOP BEING YOU; He just asked you to lay down the bit where the YOU in it was what you were worshiping.
Am I making sense?
Let’s land this.
It’s comeback season for many women and men I know.
Seems like we’ve been on some kind of divinely orchestrated collective long service leave, or even what we thought was a complete career change.
“Now I’m going to be this”, “now I’m never going to do that again”.
And then somewhere along the way, the dust stirred up by the necessary excavation of our soul started to settle.
And we looked around.
And we realised, huh –
SHE’S STILL THERE.
Goshdang it.
Except also, HUH –
She’s still there!
Maybe one entire point of the stripping off was as simple as you had to walk fully out of yourself in order to find out that in actual fact?
You belong in the skin you came in.
This is a good thing.
This is a GOD thing.
And now it’s finally also a PERMISSION thing.
Permission to be all of you.
Permission to be only you.
Permission for that to be enough, by the grace of God.
And permission to go all in like you expect it to actually freaking work.
How do we pick it back up again?
Babe.
We just did.
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS.
Are you coming?
Next week we are LIVE for the 5-day Wake Up or Die Challenge and it is FREE!
This is:
Holy Spirit activation.
Fire.
Flow.
And the wake up call of COLD living water we need dumped over our heads right now to realise just how AWESOME what God has for us and wants to put through us is!
Your place,
HERE: https://katrinaruthministries.com/wakeupordie
PPS.
Live morning flow for you from today over on my IG: Wake Up Dreamer!
Let’s go!
