Toying with leaving socials. 44 today. Things to tell you!

Somewhere along the way over the past nearly two decades online, birthdays became at least one part about showing the world just how hot happy and free you are at such and such age.

I would say this really kicked in for me in the last decade more than the one prior, but either way – it definitely kicked in. I don’t know if it’s just an online coaching world thing, but it is definitely perpetuated in that world and honestly –

I just don’t care anymore.

I don’t care anymore about turning my birthday into a stream of carefully curated pics of how great I look, how epic my life is, how meaningful my moments. I don’t care anymore about the obligatory ‘I’m so blessed’ post and pensive stare in which you’re making sure your selfie is getting ALL the right angles. I don’t care about so much of the online world anymore, is the truth of the matter, and it puts me in a bit of a weird place because – my primary business is online. In many ways I was one of the key female founders of the online space. And I still adore the creativity and the community of what I do online!

PS yes, I also get that I am literally writing about being over the whole ‘yay I’m such and such age, please all admire me’ thing by … writing a post which I trust will hit the mark for somebody and result in at least SOME kind of applause. Ha. Press here for irony.

It’s not just MY birthday I don’t care about turning into a whole online extravaganza. One of my children celebrated a milestone birthday last week and I DID NOT MAKE A POST OR LITTLE SPEECH ABOUT IT. Imagine! The entire celebration happened … within our family and that child’s friendship circles. In fact, I have had numerous wonderful life occurrences occur in my life, my kids lives, my business, the general flow of day to day awesomeness and morals of the story which is so often the bread and butter of the lifestyle entrepreneur … or anyone with a message to share and a realisation that it hits the money mark when you wrap it all up in a big bow of ‘look how aspirational or magnetic my life is’ … ?

I dunno, I feel like I’ve probably written exactly this post or email a number of times over the years in different ways.

What’s different now though is … I’ve actually for the most part stopped. Some of you have noticed. Some (shock! horror!) have not really realised my gradual retraction from social media norms. Some could care less. Some are going to be fascinated and listen with ears wide open because you too actually just don’t WANNA with all this stuff.

Me, I’m pretty done. Maybe I’ll be back at some point guns blazing to reveal my every life move and position my kids just so in order to highlight … whatever it is that needs highlighting … but for the moment?

It’s all systems go more than ever on PURE messaging, and the actual trust I have in what I do and the anointing that is on me to know that it does not NEED to be propped up by a behind the curtain reveal into my life and the highlights of said life. ‘Pure’ messaging meaning, firstly, my writing, and secondly – behind the scenes things which will in time be revealed. Plus, of course, my courses and coaching. Just – no longer needing to be sold with a performance of my life as the continual starter.

If I’m being honest, when I started to realise I was gradually sharing less and less about myself, my life, the multi-whatever-whatever, I was just as much worried as I was curious to see how this would impact business. Is it really possible to make ‘that’ sort of money online without aspirational branding and an audience which at least partly hinges on them voyeurism? Well, let me reassure you: it DID at first drop my income. Quite dramatically, in fact. lol. Bet you weren’t expecting me to say that. There were other factors at play as well. A lot of ’em. Not least the fact that I didn’t REPLACE my way of being with anything new. I just … took my foot off the pedal. Slowly at first. Surely, eventually. All of which had to do with the simple fact that:

It was time for me to move on from being an online ‘queen’, and it took me however long it took me to start to even fully see what my new identity was gonna be, relevant to my work.

The truth is I am STILL having that revealed to me.

But I certainly do know, and have proven this:

INCOME is, like many things, only ever a reflection of belief.

OBVIOUSLY it is possible to maketh the millions (or whatever) online without jumping through any particular hoops, social media or otherwise. In fact I personally know plenty of people who barely even USE social media, and certainly don’t reveal their personal lives, and yes quite happily maketh ze millions. In a lot less time and with a lot less fuss than most.

Increasingly,

I’m becoming one of them.

Now let me stop this probably quite long piece of prose here to say this:

I am not suggesting it is any way bad or ‘less than’ to plaster yourself, your fam, your every bite of sushi all over the socials. For me that life was SO aligned for years. (Screw sushi though, can’t STAND it). What I AM saying is:

it’s just one way.

And if it’s not YOUR way, or you’re starting to suspect that this just ain’t gonna float your boat anymore or in the first place no matter how much harder you prop the thing up …

then why are you continuing?

I’m going to say something now which I’ve never said before, yet deep down always knew was a reality about my OWN showing up. You can disagree with this if you like. It’s probably going to offend some people. And it may come off as a slight on others. It’s not though. It’s just, as always – the message for whomever the message is for.

My true belief is that if your business is hinged around who and what you are, your message alone just ain’t that powerful. Or, put more relevantly for a lot of people, including numerous versions of me:

If you have to hawk yourself and your life to sell shiz or build an audience, you do not BELIEVE fully in the power of your message.

Look. Maybe the message IS ‘you’. I certainly waved that flag high for a long while! And I certainly still believe it is filtered THROUGH you (duh) and so naturally will bring through PARTS of you, stories, insights, what have you. I’m not trying to remove ME from what I share with you.

But there is a difference between letting the message naturally reveal some behind the curtain insights into your crazy beash creative genius psyche and … flopping every part of you onto the internet to get people to look in the first place.

And the reality for some of us is …

we simply have an anointing. To pour a thing forth. To divinely download. To BE the true supernatural vessel. And?

We can get really really good – GENIUS, in fact – at building success, even powerfully impacting and helping a lot of people, without going all in on that TRUE outpouring. Doing a version of it, perhaps. But never the full unfettered thing.

For me, this is what I realised was happening.

And also, maybe I just grew up. Grew through. Became new. As we all do! And in doing so, realised:

I just don’t care anymore about showing you my every puff of breath, and not only that but I think it is irresponsible to the depths of the work I am here for to do so.

So what does this mean?

I’m not entirely sure.

Over the past little while I’ve even contemplated completely exiting social media, and reverting to only email marketing and community both free and paid somewhere different, in-house.

I say reverting because initially I made my money online without social media. That’s how long I’ve been doing this! I am still toying with this total exit possibility! But since I have a tendency to throw babies out with bathwater I’m not acting on it yet. Because what I suspect is that I will continue to use ze socials just … not overly socially. Or at least, not in the way which an industry I never actually came to this earth to be part of yet is one I am deeply grateful to HAVE been part of and even led –

would tell me I should.

And what I do know for SURE for sure, for both me and for you, is this:

There is always always space at the TRUE top for another ‘goes all in on who and what they really are’ leader, who has an ACTUAL outpouring to pour forth.

Just … not so much the one who knows this is true and then continues to look through the lens of how everybody else says it needs to be shared.

The coaching world is a bubble gorgeous.
EVERY world you’re in is a bubble.
SO WHY NOT SNAP YOUR PRETTY LITTLE EYES OPEN AND MAKE THIS THE MINUTE YOU BIRTH YOUR OWN WORLD.

You know –

the one it’d be if you stopped thinking about how to be, and just went with –

this is me.

PS

Happy 44th birthday to me! I had an epic day in the sun and a whole bunch of fun I won’t be posting about. I know. The audacity!

And remember –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat