I’ve been slowly walking myself back into being the person who consistently shows up for the message inside of me, and when I tell you it’s been a wrangle and a wrestle? Boy oh boy.
I don’t think I have EVER had to fight resistance as hard as I have this time! I mean the really sneaky type, too. Where you are a hair’s breadth away from believing that it’s not resistance at all; it’s actually that you’re not ‘meant’ to do the thing and so you should just stay sat where you are!
I made a promise to myself and one of my besties earlier this year though, which was that no matter how many times I flip-flop back again and try convincing myself I’m not going to do the thing after all the rule now has to be I will anyway.
Even if it takes a day, a week, a month!
And so that’s what I’ve been doing.
Because deep down in the place where certainty simply IS, and where I find it on repeat when I am fully dropped in with God and my own innermost self, I know:
There is fire in my mouth which ain’t gonna be stopping for the duration of my lifetime.
And while it is very true that my reasons for showing up are different to what they once were, it is also true that the deeper reasons?
Never changed at all.
Because it is who I am.
Because I can’t not.
Because what is in me is burning in my bones to let out.
Because God MADE me to be a messenger, a vessel, and a voice.
Because I am not BEING,
if I am not being the version of me who writes. Speaks. And pours out a thing.
Oh, if only overthinking could be supernaturally surgically deleted from each of us!
But then we wouldn’t be who we are, we wouldn’t become who we become by being trained through the fire of willingly laying down every excuse, fear, uncertainty or doubt on repeat and showing up anyway!
So here is my ponderment for myself today, and for you:
Who would I be being if I were already being her?
THAT me who is once again consistently in the fire and flow and for whom simply part of her everyday is to teach, to preach, to write, to create, to coach, and to pour forth a thing?
It’s not a complicated answer.
It just feels OH so insurmountable if we try to come at it from a place of seeing it as separate to who we already are; something we have to ‘get’ to.
So play a game of imagine.
Write the vision, and make it plain, as God says in Habakkuk.
What would it be today if you’d already GOT there?
Me?
I’d write this blog newsletter.
I’d show up on my stories like I have a life and some thoughts I’m in the habit of sharing.
I’d intentionally create one or more posts which I truly believe matter.
I’d speak to you like you’re already human and already there (hi!).
I’d be responsible to my existing courses and commitments.
I’d be holding myself accountable to actually dive in on the epic teachings and disciplines I hired my coaches for.
I’d be TALKING. Talking talking talking as I always did, because
when the flow starts flowing it flows and keeps on flowing oh and by the way? You don’t get no flow if you aren’t willing to walk into what looks like still or scary or just totally ‘meh’ waters.
I’d EXPECT to create and sell. Except WHAT I create to sell. Market and share it like I know it of COURSE is gonna sell!
I’d pin my sights on increasing my team again. With much wisdom gained from having blown it out previously haha. A little marketing and social media support. A little personal assistant support. A long-term expectation for things to dial up and grow!
I’d have a money day or half day each week, to systematically address and rightly steward and grow my finances. I’d start paying attention to the dollars and cents again like I know they’re growing and also that what’s already in my hands is gonna be multiplied because that is who God IS!
I’d bless my EVERYTHING to the Kingdom of God on repeat and know God is for me in all of it. I’d expect heavenly strategy and His hand and governance on my success!
I’d have fun again! Oh my word. Did you see my laughing funny stories with my ex-client now bestie Amanda Frances? They’re still up as I write this but I’m going to post them as a reel soon so you won’t miss. Just chatting and laughing and BEING on stories reminded me how we get to have FUN in this thing! It’s also honestly the best branding ever, to draw in the ‘you’ people and bore or repel the not so ones.
What else?
Oh a million things! A more intentional podcast I actually put care into to grow intentionally. A studio / filming room again. (Hi new house vibes; we’re moving again!). Responsibility and dedication to the books that are in me. LIVE EVENTS. Did I say that already? Eep I can’t wait!
I got really scared in some ways. If I’m honest.
Scared I just couldn’t grasp it. What was in me. Scared again that maybe I made it all up, and not in the good way. Scared I was just never going to quite grab hold of my destiny.
And then?
I remembered who the heck I am, and whose I am.
And that destiny happens on the other side of just saying yes to letting today’s work be today.
Now how ’bout you?
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS
Women Who Burn, The Academy, has been burning in ME for absolutely months now. Shifting, dropping, simmering, COOKING!
I realised I do not feel quite ready to launch a whole big thang again yet. Of course that may change in 3.5 minutes as I flick this flow switch here again. It wouldn’t be the first time!
Meanwhile, what I realised though –
OH I can launch the first MODULE though. COMEBACK SEASON baby.
What else would it be?
For the ones who never actually left. But still need to come back 😉
Stay tuned.
