You are going to wake up a lot of the time not wanting to, and you can still do the work.
You are going to be absolutely convinced you’ve no idea how, and you can still do the work.
I HOPE you have no idea how to walk forward in what you’re saying yes to right now.
I HOPE your faith is in the fact that the vision is one God gave you, it’s a supernatural thing, it’s powered by grace, and if you knew how then it’d be something other than that, lesser, dead!
I HOPE your dependency in your very ability to get through the day is not in you, but instead in He who create you and who even now wants to breathe through you, empower you, refill you, renew you, and pour OUT through you what is needed right now in the world around you, and the world you are here to speak to.
Is it easy? Admitting you don’t have what it takes, facing up to once again feeling like the whole entire thing is so vast you can’t even bare to consider getting started, realising that once again you’re looking down the barrel of your own strength and nope it’s not gonna cut it?
IT IS EXCRUCIATING, ANNOYING, TRIGGERING, AND FRANKLY AN OUTRAGE, IF YOU LOOK THROUGH A FLESHLY OR WORLDLY LENS.
In the personal development world, or any world really of the driven ones who were always gonna do the thing, we learned to do what it takes, no matter what it takes, until it takes, and then keep going.
I COINED that phrase, I loved that phrase, I created sky high wall art with that phrase, and I spewed it and phrases like it all over the internet.
I believed in elevating myself by myself through myself for myself and that what I was born for was absolutely to be of service to and empowerment to others but BY AND THROUGH ME.
My future was on me and I LOVED it. And by Lord I ate of the fruit I spoke of it (Prov 18:21) because in the end?
I got to the same place anybody building in and of and through and for and by themselves gets to.
A tower which the world causes success and which has trapped you high high high in a place you can now only fall fall fall from if you’re to finally rest into that place of sweet surrender and supernatural flow which is JESUS, His rest, His grace, and your destiny finally restored for freedom in place of the counterfeit, once so shiny, bit by bit so binding.
And now I sit here.
On days like today.
And I think oh man I’ve got NOTHING.
I was so driven! I was so intentional! Nothing could stop me. I did what it takes, no matter what it took, ’til it took, and of course I kept going! I was PROUD to be a content machine, a business machine, a weapon lauded by all around me, and to produce relentlessly.
And yet,
I was falling.
Flailing.
And always wondering what I was missing, when I did it all and had it all yet still felt so hollow.
I am so freaking uncomfortable in this season of pretty much daily feeling like I have no idea how and also don’t want to. Like motivation is something I vaguely once heard of creatively. Like I can see the fullness of the vision but it’s just so vast that I can’t even begin. Like my ability to push is just gone.
And so I turn once again.
As I’ve learned to.
And I simply speak out words He gives me.
And I say, as I did today. Sitting here feeling fatigued of body and soul. Convinced I have nothing to write or say, and should take the day to wait for ME to rise again.
“Ok God, help me here.”
And I as I do that, I sense a flicker, and I say words He gives me again –
“what to write to the women who burn?”
Because that’s what the flicker was, it was for those women. For you. For me.
And then I simply … write.
Words He gives me.
And as I do, not only does this piece unfold, but word by word I write myself deeper into Him, into HIS certainty, HIS strength, HIS energy, HIS plans and way.
And where only 15 minutes ago I was wallowing in the things I just described to you, right now this very moment I am IN it again, in the river of the Lord, the fire and flow of the Lord, my fingertips flying over the keyboard and THIS –
is where I want to be.
Do I want to create, write for you, speak a single word, from any other placed?
NO ma’am I do not.
Does my mind and flesh think otherwise, every.single.day?
Yes ma’am you know it does!
Whewwwwww what a life this is.
JESUS, thank you for the life this is.
He always shows up you know?
He’s always right there.
On the other side of your yes.
Unlearning the backing and building of oneself is the hardest thing ever.
And it is the sweetest thing ever.
I urge you –
eat of it.
And when you do?
You will walk in daily wonder at what is,
and what Christ Himself is doing through you.
Surrendered. Filled. On fire. Flowing. Abiding in Him. You.
The world and its prince of darkness will relentlessly dangle the idea that you need to get back to being a gun at being yourself.
But Jesus says I already wrote every piece of you.
Come, take my hand, and let me show you who you actually are, activated by my living water, and the place,
you were always and only seeking.
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS
Called to Burn, the Masterclass, took place on Saturday and it was 1h 55 minutes of the absolute fire and flow of the Lord through me, for you.
If you are called to burn, as His voice and vessel.
And you know that includes writing, speaking, creating, pouring and out and selling.
And you KNOW know you sure as all get out aren’t gonna be doing that the old or the world’s ways.
This is going to blow things wide open for you and take you into that place in HIM where it makes sense, it is certain, it is PALPABLY graced, and it flows outta you like the rivers of living water He wrote for you, FOR THE SUPERNATURAL MULTIPLICATION OF THE WORK YOU ARE HERE TO DO.
Replay on demand access waiting for you here: https://katrinaruthministries.com/calledtoburn
I love you. God has got you. Let’s keep doing this thing together!!
Oh, and if you’re already ready for the deeper all in thang?
It’s the Academy, gorgeous. For the Women Who Burn, what else?
The explanation helped make the subject clearer. It is always useful to understand the basics before making decisions. A useful read that I can refer back to.