Believe me when I say I know what it’s like to be scared to get it wrong, questioning every move, convinced you’re probably making it all up, worried you’re just picking up the old ways again, and NOPE –
God surely didn’t say that, it was your idea, and you best be watching out in case you accidentally start hustlin’ your way back to YOU.
Truth is I have always had a strong vein of ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, I changed my mind again, I want to simultaneously turn in a million different directions but maybe I should quit EVERYTHING!’ running through me.
Oh, it doesn’t appear that way?
If you’ve been part of my space online for a minute you will know I systematically and mostly continuously produce what can only be termed as INFINITELY beyond prolific amounts of content, both free and paid, and I have done so for nearly 20 years now online.
But if you’ve been part of my space online for a minute and you observe closely … aka read my always straight up tellin’ it as it is blogs …
you might realise I also happen to be a BIG time questioner / over thinker, oh and also? A TOTAL mind changer. Which is to say, ACTUALLY … (and this may help you) …
responsible to the work, the flow, what’s true, and ultimately:
the ever-changing dance with God.
In fact I have always done it this way. Just that previously I did it counterfeit ‘true to me’ version rather than led by the Lord.
I learned a long time ago that where I am meant to be is NOT relentlessly following through on what I thought it would be, or even what I said it would be, but instead what I now SEE it to be.
As an entrepreneur and coach this can make things messy.
As a business owner it can be tedious.
As a boss it can be infuriating I imagine, although I fondly believe my team find it creatively wondrous; you never know what might happen! (Seriously though, my team bless me daily and I do trust vice versa … I’m not a believer in team needing to be anything other than a match made in heaven and so of COURSE it works!).
But as an artist.
Writer.
Dreamer.
Visionary.
And now in-training voice of the Lord.
You can DEPEND upon that I will make swift moves to admit it when I realise, when He shows me, I’m once again off path.
Of course the flipside of this … and what I want to speak to … is that voice of condemnation which says WELL THERE YOU GO JUST SCREWING IT ALL UP AGAIN.
Or THERE YOU GO ONCE AGAIN MAKING STUFF UP.
Or THERE YOU GO ONCE AGAIN FAILING TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
Let’s do it without the shouting.
For me that voice taunts me, mocks me, and also? It does a pretty good job at times of convincing me.
“You’re messing it all up again”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“See, you ARE naturally lazy; now you’re basically doing nothing”
“You should be further along by now”
“You don’t post enough”
“You post too much”
“Your posting is all over the place, you’re not cohesive, your stuff should look better … be more proper … THEN you’d have proper growth”.
“Oh, but don’t you dare be thinking about or setting goals for growth; that’s clearly you in your own selfish ambitions, sit your butt DOWN girl and wait for God to propel you!”
UGH.
I could honestly go on and on and on right now.
And I can tell you also … for what it’s worth … that a SUPER high percentage of my most famous and successful clients over the years, the ones who are ‘always’ on and ‘always’ seem to be confident and ‘always’ have it together …
they go through the same sort of battles. SO much more than you think.
So how then,
you might wonder,
is it that I am still always here, and the women who continuously show up in this space are also always still there?
Well, it’s very simple. And I’ve said this for years. The difference is I, they .. and maybe, just maybe, YOU, yes that could always be you as of today …
we just do it anyway.
We feel and bemoan and rent and wail and pray and cry and scream about the things and THEN WE SHOW UP ANYWAY.
Most of the time.
For me the simple way through is knowing that the work God has put in me to share is what in part shifts me. Praise be to HIM. And it’s also that my life is my message.
Which makes it kind of easy 😉
But don’t get me wrong, MAN that voice it gets at me. Sometimes enough to actually stop me SHORT term. In fact I thought that the last few days, the last week or so, was kind of ‘that’.
And maybe it was.
But do you know what else?
Oh BOY this is good. Thank you Jesus!
Romans 8:28 says God will turn all things to good for those who are righteous and who love Him. And me, I just find it – life – so much easier when I simply take Him at His word. Which I do through His grace, His strength in me, Him causing my faith to rise! I don’t even have to be the one ‘doing it’.
But I do say yes.
And so when I sit in that slump.
When I feel SO much despair.
When I feel lost.
When condemnation says my work is pointless, it should be better, I should be better, which somehow leads to me failing to feel like I can do ANYTHING.
I cry out.
And I say “Lord HELP ME”.
“Help me to be your voice. Put your words in my mouth. Help me with my yes Lord!”
When you are slumbering.
When you are oppressed.
When you don’t know how.
When you feel you’ve LOST it.
Or never even had it!
Call OUT TO YOUR LORD. And Jeremiah 33:3 ASSURES us that He will hear you. And He will answer you. And He will show you great and mighty things of which you do not know.
That is all.
That is all.
HE is all.
And I am so so grateful to be here.
Oh, PS. He’s sparked within me a new thing.
And then?
I said yes.
Come join the movement,
and see my first little intro post,
at @warriordaughtersrising
Where He has called us into training
to BECOME HIS VOICE.
Let’s see where He takes us,
and KEEP SAYING YES.
Remember –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PPS
You can still jump in to As Far As the Eye Can See, a new 30 days of content live visioning course to see what GOD would have you see, by donation only!
www.katrinaruthministries.com/genesis1315
I am dropping new content today and it is a RELEASE 🙂
Or,
you can come coach and mentor and walk with me ongoingly, in my Holy Spirit given and led membership, The Secret Garden.
The place where ALL He has for you,
is revealed
and we journey it out together.
Our next live training is later this week!
www.katrinaruthministries.com/thesecretgarden
COME AND BE FED.
