If I’m honest, I’ve been scared to lose parts of my old identity and have been clinging on to them or just operating in major resistance whilst calling it ‘I just didn’t get to that yet’.
There’s been things I’ve known for some time I need to let go of, sell, hand over, and whilst in every single case I’ve agreed to do so (to God and self!) and even taken action to do so, I’ve also been secretly relieved when that action hasn’t worked (i.e the thing didn’t sell yet) or when I ‘haven’t been able to’ because of time, know-how, or what have you.
I was coaching one of my private clients this morning on pretty much exactly this topic and realised that everything I was saying to her was for me as well.
The question it boiled down to was “what would you actually do if you knew there could be no (negative / bad) fallout here?”
Identity is a funny thing hey?
If you’ve ever spent years building something – a business, a relationship, an income stream, heck even a style or way you visually show up – you may have experienced the confusion of knowing the thing is done yet somehow still questioning continually whether in fact there is not some way to keep it or maybe it’s right to keep it!
As I said to my client this morning (and myself, thanks God!) …
we both know we could talk about this for 6 more months, that there are a ton of ‘valid’ reasons to not let go and follow through on doing so, and that it still wouldn’t change the decision you made months ago, which is that that season is done!
You’re done.
It’s over.
It’s no longer that era.
This is what you want, and it’s also right! In fact it’s exciting, because the promise and the vision of the new is incredible!
But you can’t, by definition you just can’t, step into the new if you insist on clinging to or bringing with you the old.
For me I realised this is fear of losing parts of my identity which have felt significant to me. Parts of my identity which showed I built something successful. I am successful so therefore I am worthy, loveable, purposeful, of value and use!
I mean … can I get a WOAH over here?!
I had to really talk myself through this one (after I coached my client through it and back into the aligned excitement and flow of pursuing the truth of who God has now shown her to be!)
I had to remind myself:
If you let go of these last vestiges of old Kat, you are not now left with no proof that you are worthy. You are not all washed up and therefore better cling on to the stuff of the past season as proof you mattered, could do something, or be somebody!
Firstly – your worth is in Christ in you and you in Him.
And secondly – girl! God has given you visions and dreams and a purpose for now! Is it possible, just possible, that if you keep trying to take bits of the past with you you will MISS fully stepping into the new?
I believe the answer to that is ALWAYS yes. We see the new by remembering not the former, and considering not the old. We see the new by perceiving it, saying yes to it, believing it, and then operating from it! (Isaiah 43:18-19).
The new will not be created, can not be created, while we insist that the old is the thing, because if the old is now not the thing … we are trying to see fresh life through a lens of what is now dead. Done. Finito.
You don’t need to be a physics genius to know that that’s just bad math.
I don’t know why letting go is so hard. I could spout of 1000 reasons for 1000 days and I would STILL be human as all get out and trying to figure out how I could get away with dragging bits of the old into where we’re going now.
I guess the truth, one truth, is that letting go of something we put heart and soul into brings grief. In that grief there is fear. What if I find out that was all it’s going to be for me? What if that was the best I would ever build, create, do, or be? What if I end up with nothing to show that I’m anything! What if my next level dreams are actually crazy, and not in the good way?! What if I’m just sabotaging! What if I never again accomplish something of value? What if I’m just on the downhill slope now, might as well take the best of yesteryear with me as proof!
Ugh! There is so much to unpack there.
But also, hm, well. You don’t have to.
Because it could be as simple as:
Your proof is in the vision and the promise God has put inside you now.
The vision itself, if you are looking to Him and surrendered, is the promise!
That’s pretty cool.
But in the end, yes.
You are still going to have to do the hard scary thing of walking forward, walking away, letting go.
And my gosh! For many of us, including my client and myself, that is actually quite a convoluted thing, with many moving parts to it! It is gonna take time. It is a bit messy! Even that part of it makes it feel valid to just NOT.
But in the end …
it’s pretty simple, ya know?
You either say yes to the new (now) life you see inside of you, and take step by step as God leads you to see it come real,
or you keep creating the one you’ve already got.
Can’t have it both ways.
And as for the mess, the detail, the endlessness?
It’s just another elephant to eat one bite at a time.
So let’s simply today:
Write the vision you see in you now.
Keep it dot point and simple.
Know it is DOABLE.
Identity the first next step to take.
And the first next past thing to action letting go of.
Require yourself to do each today (soon!)
And then identify the next for each category.
Repeat repeat repeat.
Wake up one day and realise you’re now in your new life.
Yeah it’s hard.
And?
Harder to keep living the wrong life.
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS.
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Maybe it’s simply time to let go of the old,
and walk into the new.
