I understand how scary it can be to give God your yes, not just your ‘oh of course I’ll give God my yes’, but your all in take what you want, break what you want, shake what you can, consume ALL of me yes.
The one where you surrender everything you have, are, desire, think your life is meant to be about, and everything you have LEANED on, and you actually mean it.
The yes where you say “Lord make me your voice!” and then you DON’T just get on with your day your way, you stop.
You wait.
You learn to be in the pause with Him. You learn to catch His beat.
You learn to be led by Him in a dance which never ends and which you are always STILL learning.
And as you do,
you begin to notice that your breath is His breath
that your words are not only ones which He planted but which He also brings out of you
your ways are no longer your ways, your days are no longer your days, and the whole business … message … build an EMPIRE, gal; you’re made for it thing is just …
Well.
A whole ‘nother thing.
And the thing with THAT is, is that in the beauty and wonder and awe of finding yourself pulled NOW into an eternal rhythm and flow of what HE would have come through you is also … BUT WHAT IF I FALL ON MY FACE AND I’M NO LONGER SAFE BECAUSE I’M NO LONGER LEANING ON OR LIVING FOR WHAT I THOUGHT I NEEDED,
WANTED,
OR HOPED?!
The obvious question here of course is – and how was that working for you ANYWAY?
WERE you safe? Secure? Certain?
And even if you were some version of worldly safe or secure and you had the things and had become the thing …
how was that working out for you? Really?
I know for me, I built the thing to some pretty high heights and I just about had it all. I was also certain I would mow down the REST of ‘it all’; just watch me!
But at a certain point it just started to be … no.
I no longer was lit on fire with the fire that was increasingly showing itself to be safe.
I no longer felt assured I was on path.
And bit by bit I also no longer CARED about what I had lived and breathed for, become, and continued to seek.
I guess when we chase ourselves for long enough, and fill ourselves with ourselves, at a certain point we realise we’re just filled up to overflowing with OUR OWN RECYCLED SH*T.
I don’t care how good yours is – mine was pretty good; it was up there!
In the end you’re going to get to the point where you realise there is a Jesus shaped hole and oh oh oh that is NOT just about acknowledging Him. It’s also not just about accepting Him as your Saviour. But bit by bit as you look to Him it’s inevitable that it will become for you, as it did for me, as it is right now for so many, about BECOMING Him.
OH this is scary! This has scared me in so many ways! But that so called fear is nothing nothing NOTHING with how much the idea of NOT living for what He made and is making me for scares me.
I want the all in version God!
I want the all in version!
I want the all in version!
I want the break me shake me TAKE me thing! Take me wherever you would have me!
Can I tell you? As somebody who built and succeeded at SO much in her own strength, this has been a hard thing to lay down because it has DRAMATICALLY changed my positioning. Income. So-called status. And life.
Can I tell you?
I DON’T MISS ANY OF IT. No part of me has found this a hard CHOICE to lay down, take it take it take it has been the cry of my heart since day one, when he awoke His Spirit in me like a gushing wind, a roaring fire, a consuming flame and my prayer is let me BURN for you Jesus, consume ALL of me!
The hard bit has been the ‘then I just picked it back up again’ thang, where often I didn’t even realise I was doing it!
It’s been 2 years and counting of stripping off, breaking, remaking, and every step of the way for the first 18 months at least I was CONVINCED I was just about to be ‘there’.
If I just did this one more thing.
If I just surrendered again.
I was still chasing performance, is the truth. And an idea that if I got it right and measured up, my destiny would be secure.
Ohhhhhhh the total dependance and admission of our own inability and COMPLETE ineptitude is a big thing!
Those patterns of self-sufficiency and ‘I should’ run hard.
But Jesus.
It’s still daunting. I’m not gonna lie. I still sit here, writing as I do even now, and I think –
Am I crazy?
Am I completely missing it?
Does ANYBODY apart from a few of you equally starving for more of Him die-hards wanna hear this?
Am I DESTROYING my chance at …
well, what?
Finish the sentence and you CAN’T. I know I can’t. Because it would be some version of dead work, things of this earth which have nothing to do with eternity and which are ultimately NOT WHAT I WAS BROUGHT HERE TO DO.
And as for you small band of equally on fire for Him LONGING for more of Him peeps …
OH MY WORD I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE.
But I won’t even say ‘that’s all I need’, a few hungry folk who want to hear what I have to say now, after being ‘that girl / Queen of the Internet’ for years.
I don’t need that.
I just need Jesus.
And for my every word and breath to be an offering to Him.
And so I’ll keep saying yes.
No matter the cost.
And let Him do the rest.
You?
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS.
It’s today gorgeous.
Your Message is Your Ministry, Your Missive is Your Voice starts today.
30 days in this new live container to receive what He has given you to carry, and?
Unleash it.
https://katrinaruthministries.com/yourmessageisyourministry
YOU HAVE TO RELEASE YOUR ROAR.
Stop WORRYING on the pricing thing.
Or whether you should charge at all.
How much is too much.
Or if you should subdue all desire or expectation for growth.
It’s no longer up to you.
The old is dead, and washed away.
You are risen in Christ now.
And He WILL have His way in you.
And already is.
When you set aside this old pattern or lens of messaging being about monetisation, and instead begin to deeply walk forward in it as your ministry, you will find you also receive His freedom and eyes to see what then goes with this as far as right expectation for finances, growth, and a message which takes wings and flies.
You will no longer fear you’re trying to do it for you.
Worry about accidentally slipping back.
And the lies of the enemy which tell you that any expectation for growth, financial or otherwise, is WRONG
Will fade away.
God is a God of abundance.
His ways are prosperous and true.
If He wants you to whack a price tag of any amount on your work, He will show you.
Regardless,
He will take care of YOU however He pleases and that may or may not be through what you release creatively in Him.
But it could be.
Which means you need to listen, and heed, and not automatically shriek and shut down any notion of full and vibrant expression.
Are you hearing this?
Here is what it comes down to.
In setting aside that fear.
That worry and old lens.
Where your message was for money, even though sure; we said purpose first.
You can also say YES Lord, YES, let my message be my ministry. Let me be your voice.
https://katrinaruthministries.com/yourmessageisyourministry
PPS
There is a price tag on this course, and a payment plan option. If you are unable to do either of those please DM me @itskatrinaruth and ask me for a pay what you want link. God is my provision! And yours x
