Had a NEEDED period of breaking, shaking, tearing off. (Thank you Lord!)
But also just a needed REST, y’know?
I think even if you’ve been at this for only a year you need a rest and a step back a lot more than what you realise.
For many of us it has been years.
I stopped unapologetically backing me being me.
That’s the truth of it.
I bought a story which my insecurities served up to me which said that surely by now I should have grown up more in how I show up online.
Be more proper.
More polished.
Less random just flingin’ out of whatever was coming out.
Etc.
That if I was really ‘Katrina Ruth’ the way the world online saw me … the woman who was behind many of the true 1% of the 1% in this industry as the person who saw and switch flicked THEM …
I wouldn’t still be just rolling day by day as the somewhat hot mess all over the place still in her gym gear can’t stop won’t stop person who apparently pours words out of every orifice in her body at a speed which is frankly just RECKLESS.
Right?
And then coming fully back to relationship with God, and the pursuit of and submission to Jesus, well –
now I obviously needed to make sure everything was ONLY properly right in Him.
This bit is truth, expect the bit about ME being the one who made it so, hm. Not so.
Also, as He aptly said to me – “you’re still trying to be”.
And “who do you think made you the way you are in the first place?”
I’ve had many conversations the past 3-6 months with big time ‘famous’ leaders in the coaching world. Most of whom have been my private clients. The people you know, and think are perfect. THOSE ones. You know?
Unshakeable in their confidence and certainty, right?!
The dominant conversation which has been had is some version of “I don’t know how to be ___ insert name ____ anymore”.
And
“it’s not working like it used to”
And
“I just wonder if I’m done”
Guess what I’ve also had with those people?
FOLLOW on conversations in which they realised HUH. I’m just gonna work it again. I lost sight of ME. I started to think I had to be somebody I’d built myself into being. Rather than realising that the whole me being me thing gets to be reflective of what NOW is.
And also …
for those truly born to lead …
that doesn’t go away.
So inevitably the switch flicks back to “NOW I’M JUST GONNA TAKE CHARGE OF THIS THING”.
Guess what?
There is not a problem with stepping back.
Questioning.
Wondering if you’re done.
Or with things taking a slower turn.
We HAVE to stop thinking this is a problem!
You’re a human, not a robot! Hopefully a human who ALLOWS themselves to be in the messy and uncertain and the ebbs and the flows.
This is your LIFE.
It doesn’t matter if you quit being ‘that person’ on the internet.
Or if it takes a new turn.
It also matters a lot less than what you think if your income changes, even though sure – making money is a thing we all absolutely should be doing, and why NOT have it grow?
But not at the expense of holding yourself to an idea of who you have to be. Ya know?
Here is what I realised on the weekend.
And I’m going to say this is for about the millionth time as Lord knows I’ve only had and shared similar revelations to this cyclically about once every year.
I just like to say and share the stuff.
I don’t SIT right when i’m not in the continual flow of unleashing.
So if I am all of a sudden posting 18 to the dozen again, and back firing with multiple new things all at once …
it’s simply because I came back to my original why
Because I can’t not
because it’s what I’m here for
and because you bet your sweet butt I wanna keep making and impacting the millions God has given me a vision for
MAN, I did get religious about it though. Whilst also being ragey against a spirit of religion. Ha! God showed me that the next stage of my spiritual maturity is not thinking everybody has to fit the formula of what I think their journey with Him should look like.
LOL. The irony. I know. Given what I teach.
Don’t get me wrong, the ONLY way to God is Jesus.
But where somebody is at … what they’re doing or not doing … if I can’t be comfortable with speaking to who He has given me a voice to speak to I’m no better than a Pharisee (religious folk who Jesus despised) saying you can’t hang with me unless you look / walk / talk / sound exactly like that.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry also for holding back.
I’ve actually been holding back a lot more than what I realise for some years now.
I started to be careful.
I thought it was a bit embarrassing that I’m still being ‘that girl’ on the internet.
I thought I needed to fit the formula.
I just couldn’t seem to find a formula I liked, or could breathe in.
So I gradually just kept pulling back more.
I don’t regret it. If I’m honest.
Because I do not hold myself to a standard of always seeing whatever on earth I’m gonna see later.
I’m here to be HERE. In whatever the wonderful glorious mess of HERE is.
So as I said over the weekend to one of my previous private clients who is a dear friend and with whom I still have ‘these’ kinds of conversations …
what I do know for sure about all of this is that the world will never not need you being you. Or me being me.
And as for the formula to fit?
Duh. It’s the one where you unleash all of you as though you never heard of a rule of how to be before in your life.
I mean …
you may still be messy. Random. All over the place. Chop and change your mind continually. Not making ANY kind of sense to most people.
But maybe,
just maybe,
that is not something to sort out THEN you go next level
Maybe the next level is you simply start pouring out what’s coming out while YOU remain whoever you are
believe me,
your ideal peeps and those who God has given you a voice to speak to are not waiting for you to clean up the bits of you which YOU judge
That’s all.
Kat
PS.
3 things right now. Actually there’s more but I’ll stick with 3 😉
1) My inner circle is open again. For the first time officially since 2019.
This is high level personal and private coaching & mentoring for the true 1% within the 1%. For those who are here to lead the leaders. And who know it is time to have all stripped off of them which is NOT true,
to that.
2) Flowing Firing Wild & Free is my new 10 day live RESET and it absolutely will BURN OFF WHATEVER IS NOT MEANT TO BE THERE.
This is our coming BACK celebration. And it is only $99, or you can pay in two. It is also all live! The first live training is happening TODAY.
You can get it here, OR you can next level straight into my new 10 week live signature course, Supernatural Creator Academy, which is our deep dive on THAT and starts next week
3) I am running a one time live masterclass TOMORROW called Wake Up & Sell. This is identifying YOU and nailing down exactly how to unleash it wildfire like at your most ideal peeps, then sell sell sell while you flow flow flow
It is the ‘b shot in the butt’ while the 10 day thing is the immersive detox and reset. You should prob do both.
If you have to choose, choose the one which hits the YES button within you.
