Have you ever been so weary you feel like even lifting your head one more time is going to break you?
I don’t know if I’ve been quite that weary this past week, but after experiencing my first cyclone and the whirlwind which has followed it this past week or two (think: huge amounts of repairs needed to my house and needing to get out of it asap), I have a glimpse.
Camping is always exhausting, and when it’s in your own house without a bonfire and marshmallows and new leaks and roofing issues popping up left right and centre as you endlessly clean it kinda hits even harder!
The week since then has been … intense.
Not just as the almost endless pit of housing issues began to be uncovered … or we found out we won’t have lights back for weeks and maybe months … then realising due to various things that oh, actually we just need to leave … but also because several slightly major things popped up in other areas of my life. Demanding instant attention and speed. All.at.once.
So I did what any sane human would do, saw the mess and mayhem, and decided to one up it by holding a flash garage /yard sale with the kids this past Saturday. Time for some lemonade!
Lemme just tell you: garage sales are the hardest working lowest paying gig out there! I cleared my Friday to focus on pulling out everything we needed to get rid of, but while the kids did their bit I ended up in an entire day of housing and paperwork issues and next minute it was 6pm the night before an advertised garage sale and NOTHING was ready.
I called my sister for help and what a blessing she ALWAYS is. Suffice to say she laughed at me with ABSOLUTELY no mirth though when approximately seventeen gajillionty hours later and barely any sleep I said “garage sales ARE kind of fun though … in a twisted way!”
Side note: I now have an entire fashion boutique in my garage, lining every wall, and plenty of toys left too. We made a couple hunny. (Insert twisted laughing emojis here). But at least everything we’re getting rid of is sorted!
In all seriousness, I’m smiling.
And aside from a few moments where I actually wanted to stop and scream, this past few weeks has been … blessed.
I call it blessed.
I call my SELF blessed. My kids. Our household. And our every step forward as God Himself determines and leads our way.
Not only were we protected the entire time and our needs WERE met (my kids may not agree with that; house wifi is still not back either!), but there were fun moments in the midst of it all, we learned a bunch of new things, we worked together (… mostly), my son had the best outing x 2 of his life taking his boogie board for hours down one of the new mud slides post cyclone, and through all of it, when I stopped and paused, and especially as all the damage and follow on stuff became known?
I heard the heartbeat of Jesus.
Because here is what I think.
When things are messy. Seem OFF. And you wonder why this is happening, or why God is letting it happen.
And I don’t mean this is always the way. Sometimes the enemy gets HIS way and terrible things happen in a world which IS fallen and which we do live in.
In those cases we must fall on our knees praise God for who He is and that He DOES turn all things to good for those who are righteous and love Him. (Romans 8:28). He will equip us Himself to do this, when we lean on Him and look to Him.
For in Him we live and move and breathe and have our being, even down to the hardest moments. (Acts 17:28)
All of this was … not that. To me this was … and is … and will be in these coming months as QUITE a lot is needing to be addressed … blessing. Blessing. Blessing. And what I see as the final big OOMPH of me submitting to what God has already done in lifting me out of the miry clay of all that I built.
I had already decided to sell this house. This area is one of the wealthiest and most aspirational suburbs of the Gold Coast, and we live right on the water, but there’s not enough kids around as my son comes into his teen years.
I’d decided already to head to a part of the coast also close to the beach (lol, it’s the Gold Coast; it all is), but more mountainous, which is more MY heartbeat, and more surrounded by kids, fishing, creeks, and so on.
This is a yes move for both my kids and I, for many reasons.
And the house I own here is a weighty asset, so praise God for that!
The last week has made it all seem more complex but in actual fact it has solidified for me what God has already done for us and which we WILL see enacted. It’s a final big PUSH to pop out free of the muck of what Kat built. I get a visual as I write this of myself being pulled out of muddy quicksand with a final big SQUELCH as I pop free.
As I look to all that needs doing … and thought at first about how overwhelming it all feels to sort out … as well as find our next / now right place to live STAT, in a filled up market, He’s been speaking to me on repeat about bringing me into a broad place. Giving me hind feet like a deer. And pointing me to see the vision of it all already being DONE.
Psalms 18:19 – “He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me”
Habakkuk 3:19 – “The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, And He will make me walk on my high hills”
Habakkuk 2:2 – “Write the vision. And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.”
Isn’t it an incredible thing to seek the Lord, sit with and wait on Him, and have Him directly speak peace and reassurance and strategy for YOU?!
Do you feel any of this for you right now, in what you’re facing?
Just before I began writing this, I knelt head on the floor, WIPED. Last night was my first deep sleep in the past few weeks and it was so good my body wants more of it right now. I felt that deep weariness and thumping head of finally pausing after an intense race.
“God you’ve got to help me!”, I said. “Give me your strength and focus. And I thank you that you do”.
As I listened to worship music and just waited, kneeling, I started to catch that beat. Do you know that you will ALWAYS catch His beat when you wait on and expect it?! And His heavenly strategy! (Jeremiah 33:3).
I felt my mind try to rise up against me. It’s noon already, and what have you done? There’s so much to do, get UP and go go go; there’s not enough time anyway!
And I waited.
As I did, I heard,
“Take hold of the Kingdom”.
“Yes God”, I whispered in my spirit. “I’m taking hold”.
He showed me a vision of me holding on to a ladder off a helicopter. And as I just kept holding on I was lifted up and over all of it.
All of the mess.
Mayhem.
Muck.
And the endless DOING.
I saw He is carrying me past all of it, and into the place He has set me apart for.
I had a flicker of “augh, but I need to make sure I do MY bit!”, but it subsided just as quickly as I saw – you don’t get carried out of the mucky murky waters to safety and refreshment and also try and clean the water or free your SELF!
He will do it.
He already has.
My job is to give Him thanks, and His Spirit IN me will prompt me on whatever faith led action is needed on the way.
I sense largely this is in my voice, my proclamation, my decree.
God I am so thankful for all you’ve revealed in and through and in front of me this past week!
Ya know?
Here are two verses He spoke to me this past day:
Isaiah 45:2 – “I will go before you. And make the crooked places straight; I will break in pieces the gates of bronze. And cut the bars of iron.”
HE’S GONE BEFORE ME AND ALREADY DONE IT! Child of God, this is for you too.
And,
Proverbs 8:6 – “Listen, for I will speak of excellent things, And from the opening of my lips will come right things; For my mouth will speak truth; wickedness is an abomination to my lips.”
Gorgeous,
this one is for every area of our lives! But in particular for those of us who have a message to share.
I was going to write a whole post about THAT.
But instead I’ll just remind you of this:
Your Message is Your Ministry starts this week!
Are you coming?
https://katrinaruthministries.com/yourmessageisyourministry
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
