📷 staying at Lake Shasta in California with one of my nearly 10 years in clients and friends Jeanna Gabellini. Lotta reminders in conversation the last few days which have brought me back to the simple truth of why I always did what I did and am still here to do what I do
You’re putting your focus into the wrong thing.
Trying to figure out how to be instead of just LETTING the crazy awesome wonderful what-on-earth-is-that that is you ALREADY being you come out flowing, firing, wild, and free.
The way it would if you forget there is something you have to do here.
If you never even stopped to consider you gotta make sure you do it right.
Dot the i’s the internet says matter.
Cross the t’s that will show you deserve to be part of it.
Jump through the endless horrible soul-vaporising hoops you see ahead of you to get to the bit where your stuff is actually WORKING, seen, of true value, what you’re ‘meant’ to be doing, and oh what’s that other teeny thing? Gets you paid.
Thing you gotta realise with all these hoops, and i’s, and t’s, and shoulds, and success strategies so over thought out they’re like completely bloodless impossible to chew buck a pound steak at this point is … it’s all made up.
IT’S ALL MADE UP!
It’s ALL a figment of your imagination, and you never had to follow or worry about ANY of it.
In fact it is so made up, that if you stopped looking at it, feeding it, SUCKLING on the teat of poison that is trying to figure out your own freaking identity and how that should look in your own freaking business or ministry, it would just … vanish. Poof. So long. GONE.
And what you would have instead, although I will say only if you’re willing to and want it, is the pristine and crystal clear ENDLESS waters of possibility laying before you, a fresh new canvas on which YOU get to paint your own life,
decide the rules,
decide the way,
or better still LET THE WAY BE REVEALED as you walk it forward and press play,
on the life you would choose if it were all a matter of you just being you.
Thing you gotta remember about who you are is, you never needed to be told which box to fit in and ultimately lay down and die in because YOU ARE NOT BOX SHAPED. You’re all hexagon and even THEN there’s always another edge, another corner, another layer, another drop into what it actually is on THIS day.
You were made with fire in your bones and it’s a fire which burns and KEEPS burning.
You see endless possibility because you CARRY it.
You ARE one of the burning ones who can’t stop won’t stop, only issue is perhaps –
You stopped ANYWAY. Or you never fully picked up in the first place. The simple beautiful messy wonderful EXACTLY as it’s meant to be reality of you just being you, and letting what’s in you out.
So let’s take a minute right now.
And be honest.
Not about what it GETS to be, but about what it just IS when it’s BEING.
Me, I have to write before I can do anything. First comes the dropping in with God and what is at work in my own spirit through Him and not a small amount of deeply dark espresso and what ponderings and musings and prayers are simmering for the day. I really HAVE to have that morning flow. Can I live without it and still write, create, coach, preach, lead, and be an awesome human, surreeeeee. Said a little dubiously because, well, why would I? When it’s a simple matter of choosing what I know most serves me and plugs me in to the place I wanna be flowing from that day.
And then, FROM that place, first order of business?
GIRL I WAS MADE TO WRITE.
Write something, write anything, write what is already being written in me, write when I can, write when I can’t, write when I have something to write, and DEFINITELY write when I don’t, just – write.
This year, I’ve been so focused on trying to flick switch myself back into a habit of showing back up online and once again being that person on the feed who is saying and sharing the thing, also simultaneously trying to switch flick back into that part of me who of COURSE knows what’s she’s selling or offering and is doing it, that I have let my writing be sidelined.
Have I still published, sure. About 80-90% less than previous years going back a full 20 of ’em in online biz now.
I felt … distracted. Pushed and pulled by trying to figure out who I want to be online now, who I am, and berating myself for being so darn inconsistent with the daily content, fixated for some reason on Instagram like it’s the Promised Land (probably because it’s the platform I myself dominantly look at content on), and therefore repeatedly trying to jump through hoops that were NEVER MY HOOPS TO JUMP THROUGH in terms of ‘having to do’ short form content, or being frustrated when I try to take my long form blog content and chop up it’s bloody ORGANS so that IG can consume it.
Forgetting,
girl you just need to write.
You USED to write first, write always, not even move a MUSCLE on anything else business related til you’d written.
Because then you felt like you could BREATHE, and be present for ANYTHING else.
You know what happened, when I did that? My daily long form blog? I then punched out endless amounts of peppy, snappy, funny, intelligent, and also DEEPLY dropped in and on the money for my people shorter form content for social media and just for being in the conversation. As well as some additional longer form stuff like rambly 50-80 minute livestreams which would have people just FALLING into wanting to work with me or be in my space or just going deeper into my stuff they were already in because when I showed up and just hung OUT with everyone I was just … being.
From a place of having first put my own life jacket on.
God.
My own spirit and soul.
Caffeine.
WRITE.
I always say it was the daily writing was the thing which made me over 30 million $ in the online coaching world. Another perspective is I created and sold over 1000 courses, privately coached some of the most incredible leaders and creators in the world, keynoted around the world, ran many events and retreats, became pals with more talented and truly successful folks I can list, and built a brand where I was known as the one to go to if you wanted to switch flick into being unapologetically you, but all THAT was never gonna happen if I didn’t just … write.
Writing what needs to be written is my gateway action. My release. My switch flick. And my gift God has given me, which is meant to be released each day before a single isolated thought about what to do or how to do it enters my mind.
Once I have written, I’m no longer even THINKING about what to do or how to do it because I’m now just IN it.
In the flow of being me, and baby we are FLOWIN’. Float like a butterfly and STINGING like a bee, right where we need to strike.
So I realise,
once again,
as I have a million times over before,
that whilst there can be endless arguments as to why I don’t have to write daily anymore, or maybe I’m done with that (LOL), or that first I need to just start acting like I have a business again, the truth is … WRITE FIRST ANYWAY KAT.
It will take you to the place of freedom God already wrote for you and then you won’t HAVE to figure out how to be, you’ll just be being it!
Now how ’bout you?
Is there something you’ve been avoiding within yourself?
Is there something it’s time to admit again just IS?
If you sit in the chair right now,
and stare out at the void,
and let it be EXCITING. Beautiful sparkling endless possibility ahead of you.
What do you see?
What starts to take form?
It’s there my love.
Maybe you look ahead and you think well I don’t know. I’m not sure. WOE IS ME I JUST NEED THAT CLARITY.
But this is exactly why you then go looking for somebody to tell you how to be. Scroll scroll scroll, obsess obsess obsess, and another piece of your soul dies dies dies.
So you gotta first believe there IS something there.
I think I stopped believing that I could just keep doing my thing of showing up with that fresh daily flow. Or that it was enough. I thought I had to reinvent myself because I knew I WAS being reinvented, dramatically, that new identity drop was for REAL when I came back to God, and the truth is we all go through identity shifts and thank God for that!
I don’t mean I stopped believing I was meant to be unapologetically and fully me.
I mean, I started to try and assess or analyse or strategise what that meant.
And baby there NEVER WAS A HOW, I TAUGHT THAT FOR YEARS, AND IT’S EVER MORE TRUE IN GOD, BECAUSE HE REVEALS IT AS YOU WALK FORWARD!
So in the end, it’s the same infuriatingly WONDERFUL thing it’s always been –
Who you are in THIS moment is who it’s time to be.
Stop looking back. And stop looking around.
Instead, look to the horizon.
Don’t you see it, don’t you perceive it? NOW it springs forth!
It’s the new thing. The you thing. The now thing. And the today version of what it always, simply, yes maddeningly at times, but beautifully,
was.
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS
The new thing I’m working towards having ready for you is WHOA mama big.
It’s been cooking for some time now … and there’s been more than one occasion where I turned that pot OFF, and over-thought and wrought myself into some kind of a thing which made NO kind of sense in the end instead.
But the pot was already warm, the lid was closed, and the simmering continued even without my interference!
WOMEN WHO BURN, The Academy.
The assignment.
The accountability.
The alignment.
And the flowing firing MADE to be wild and free identity switch it’s time for you to see already IS.
This is going to be hands on and all in daily, weekly, month by month flow together as, with the fire God put in ME, I hold you to the fire to be the leader, messenger, way-maker, and voice you ARE.
The business? Ministry? Body of work? LEGACY?
It all comes from the place where you TRULY, simply, because it’s what is already IN you and you just let it out, be.
And then?
Repeat.
Girl. Sister. ONE WHO CAME HERE TO BURN.
There’s a reason you can’t seem to sit down and participate right like the other gals and guys.
The solution is not to hammer yourself HARDER into that box, it’s to confess you CAME HERE TO BURN AND ROAR.
Doors open late July.
PPS
Did today’s blog hit you in any way? I’d love to hear! Comment or DM if you know this was for you.
PPPS
And now that I’m officially writing again? WATCH OUT FOR THE ALL DAY ERR’ DAY PEP AND FLOW! You too?
Good. Good. GOOD.
