“What’s wrong with me?”
^^ I don’t know how many times I’ve asked myself that in the moments between moments where I realise that once again I did NOT do what I promised myself I would do,
instead filled my day with a million things which wouldn’t make a difference in a million lifetimes,
and yet we’ve got one.
“What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep DOING that?!”
When I scroll endlessly. Or tell myself ’10 more minutes’ before getting stuck into something, then don’t. Or once again reach for the donut, or three. Or consider saying yes to a bigger than big dream, YEARN for it even, know I absolutely could and that it’s all just decision, and then just … don’t.
“What’s WRONG with me?!”
As a known high-achiever who has accomplished reasonable success both publicly and privately, who has done so by teaching others to simply say yes to who they are, and to show up unapologetically regardless of allll the reasons not to, it might shock you to know just how much time I’ve spent glumly wondering why I’m so lazy … don’t DO enough … haven’t followed through … etc.
This is one part delusion.
One part wiring.
And one VERY big part a simple habit which I had to LEARN to be done with, because the practical reality is that until I did decide to see and SAY over myself differently, I could only ever get mid-way to destiny at best.
And I don’t even know if I can actually get across to you how infuriatingly difficult it feels at times to do be who I know I’m meant to be, but I’m guessing that if you too are a highly creative, kinda all over the place, hot mess of a person who was BORN TO CHANGE THE WORLD WITH WHAT COMES OUT OF THEM …
aka one of the crazy ones, and I mean that in the ONLY best way …
then you KNOW.
You KNOW what it’s like to question every single thing about who you are, what you came for, what you’re here to do, whether or not you can do it, if anybody wants a BAR of it, if it would work anyway, if you have the energy, if you have the time, if it’s even possible, if you just made it all up, if YOU are just all made up!
It is NORMAL. These thoughts are NORMAL. I believe they are extra normal for those of us who have been called to a higher plane and to not live with both our feet AND our heads planted only in this earthly realm. Which I believe is ALL of us! But in particular,
I’m talking to those of us who are life’s natural creators, and who are meant to be SUPERNATURALLY CREATING all day ‘err day, on repeat.
And if that is you, then let me say this:
Not creating will KILL you.
It will kill you slowly, but not that softly at all, from the inside out, until one day you don’t even know if there ever WAS a you.
The beautiful thing is that at any point in time you can simply flip a switch and DECIDE. Decide that today is the day you UNSUBSCRIBE from what’s WRONG with me and you start to speak over yourself what WILL be.
THANK you Lord that you made me to create.
Thank you I know how to create.
Thank you that you put the words in my mouth and the art in my heart, and you lead my steps and bless my way!
Thank you that I was born for such a. time as this!
Thank you that I can just do it ANYWAY!
Thank you that THEN SHE JUST DID can be my story.
Thank you that I now what to write what to say, what to sell, and how to sell it!
Thank you that the plan is working!
Thank you I am a person who just shows up!
Thank you it works NOW!
Thank you I no longer have to AGREE with small mindsets, with fear, with the devils idea of who I am!
Thank you I am SUCCESSFUL, and thank you that it is in the way that I was designed to be, and thank you thank you thank you that I somehow NEVER managed to fit the mold.
Do you get it yet?
Do you get that it’s an everyday thing, though?
The reality of your flesh is … it will continually try to pull you into the grave where it ultimately belongs.
The reality of your spirit is … it ranks higher. It is where truth is planted, seen, activated, known.
So at any given time it’s really just a choice …
am I going to listen to what God says about who I am, and what he has planted in my spirit?
Or am I going to have another day filled with a refrain of “what’s wrong with me”, and then wonder why I can never manage to do anything.
Here is the truth about most high-achievers:
They did not outgrow being human. They just learned how to dance with the madness and the mayhem. They learned how to CHOOSE flow. How to expect it. And then bit by bit?
They became more about flow than fear.
The life you want and are born for, it’s a lot simpler and more within reach than what you think.
And it starts now.
It starts with your yes.
With your squaring of your shoulders.
Your gritting of your teeth if need be.
And your simple yes.
In the end, the story was always gonna be this simple:
And then she just did.
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
