Is it harder to pursue God than success?
I had a question on my YouTube this week which I really enjoyed answering.
The commenter asked me if I’ve found advocating for God more difficult than advocating for personal success (and mentioned that she loved the transition).
I wrote back and said this –
“Hi, no I haven’t at all.
To be honest my filter has always been what I believe is right, regardless of outcome. So when it was about success it was still first and foremost about alignment for me. Now it’s just true alignment… and I believe Gods promises aka I know He will take care of whatever outcomes are correct. I think it’s easy if the focus is simply what is true.
Hope this helps!”
After I typed that out I was sitting down thinking, and something occurred to me which I feel is important to share. To ponder on. And to invite an even greater surrender to God over. Yes I mean for you as well!
And that something is this –
NONE of it is harder.
None of it is less hard.
I mean as far as the whole ‘what I have or don’t have in my life’. When I was pursuing success I made a lot more money than I make now, for a lot of years. I made tens of millions online, and just kept going and growing! I backed myself unapologetically, and continued to pull off most of what I said I would do.
I did it as intentionally as a person can do without God at the centre, and through a lens of what I truly at the time believed was aligned and right. Truly except for that whole relentless beating within me, of God calling me home. So …. maybe not so truly. But truly in whatever form I agreed with in my SOUL at the time.
But the truth even in the midst of the highest heights of money and lifestyle and impact flow was … I was always in the tension of ‘what next”. I never felt there. I never felt done. I did not feel complete. And so whilst I experienced many exciting or wonderful or YASSS queen moments …
I did not know peace. I did not feel enough. I would not say I ever relaxed into it. I certainly appreciated … a lot. I was grateful. And I acknowledged my efforts and outcomes.
But there was never a ‘I got there, I’m HER’ moment.
And if I’m honest,
THAT was what I was chasing.
The rest, as I’ve always taught, came as a by-product.
But it did not MEET me. Not by a long shot.
So, in some ways, it was always still tiring. That’s just the truth. No matter what I had, achieved, bought, gave, or even all the accolades and gratitude in the world from so many people around the world, who I know I did impact, who thank me to this day …
I never really settled down, looked around, and thought yes.
This is good.
Does that even make sense? It was as good as good can be without God! And again – I APPRECIATE. But,
it was hard, because, well, because, I knew I still wasn’t there!
I thought I needed to get better at acknowledging my own efforts, at being in the moment, at owning my worth.
But really what I needed was to FIND my worth in the only place it can be found, in Christ.
I’m not really saying what I am trying to say. Help me Lord!
The point is – it’s ALL hard, it’s ALL not hard, it’s ALL whatever.
Whether I have less, or have more, whether people elevate and laud me, or are sick of hearing from me, well those last two always happened simultaneously the whole time anyway!
So maybe now less people want to hear what I have to say, but actually I do not believe that at all. I believe God is preparing me to pour forth His torrent through me beyond anything I’ve ever seen or built!
And if He’s not, I will be content with whatever He has for me because … He is my purpose.
The outcomes?
A by-product.
Paul says that whether he had less or whether he had more he had learned to be content because of Christ. I definitely agree with that! But also what I’m getting at is … I was already equally content or not content back in the day with or without the money, because what drove me was always PURPOSE.
When I felt purposeful I felt closest to contentment.
The money, the success, even the many people helped .. it never actually hit me, not in the way that feeling certain I was on track with who I was meant to be did.
I honestly tried to absorb it, ‘feel’ it more, all of it … and felt like something was oh so wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to … that deep down none of it was a driver … but for me?
It was always, since I was little, purpose.
Oh what gratitude I have to Jesus for His gift of salvation to enable me to finally receive God’s TRUE plan for me and for my purpose!
The real deal is infinitely beyond the counterfeit!
Meaning that NOW when I think about being driven by purpose …
it is first and foremost in my identity as daughter of the Lord. And pursuing intimacy with Him.
EVERYTHING else follows and is planted in that.
Including my creative work.
And including whatever outcomes, ‘success’ or otherwise, that might include.
So as far as contentment … satisfaction … or what feels more or less hard … the money, the impact, the ‘results’ all just continues to be … cool. Sometimes it’s less, sometimes it’s more.
Either way I am fine so long as I am on purpose.
And if I am not on purpose I do not feel fine regardless.
The only difference?
I finally understand purpose.
Your thoughts?
Now don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
PS.
Is it time you joined The Secret Garden?
Is it time we walked together,
went in together,
for all that He has for YOU?
God has gifted me a space which is beyond any I’ve experienced, or known, in any way, online.
It is HIS space.
I just show up.
Come see what He had me make you,
