It doesn’t feel right because you are not centered in your enoughness, and so rather than choosing what is right,
and true,
what is so definitely YOU,
you are choosing what fear and NOT enough thinks will fill the void,
fill you up,
make you happy,
or safe.
It doesn’t feel right because the energy you’re saying yes from is one of hype, of push, of ‘let’s go!’, and an underlying terror,
that it might be taken away from you,
be proven, once more, as not really yours,
that it never was yours to begin with because YOU don’t get that,
and so instead
you get THIS,
the this being you, once more, in the void, or left behind, or staring emptiness in the eyes, and having to deal
with that
and so you hype
you drive excitement UP,
not a bad thing in itself –
yet so telling, when there is no calm
no groundedness
no anchor point
no STILLNESS
no fundamental knowing that yes,
I am enough
I am complete
I am whole
and so now I CHOOSE this
It doesn’t feel right because it’s not centered in your enoughness because YOU are not centered in your enoughness and the reason for that is not that it’s not there, doesn’t exist, never was, nor is, but instead –
it’s that you keep running
and running
and pushing
and running
in every direction away
or except from
the place where
enoughness
resides
It doesn’t feel right because deep down, in the places you run fast enough from that you’ve no time to look,
you are scared to let go
terrified to loosen your hold
and too bloody stubborn to boot,
and so you don’t say YES
to the enoughness that just is
because, because, because …
maybe I don’t wanna! Maybe I don’t WANNA give up MY MY MY things, MY way, MY will, MY strength, MY power! So I will see your inherent enoughness which you’ve already given me (you say to God), but which requires me to SURRENDER me, and be finally TRULY free, and I will raise you –
a lifetime in which I continue to stand in my own determination,
BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA GIVE IT UP EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT COSTS ME,
OH
so dearly
It doesn’t feel right because you’re not centered in your enoughness.
And because you were born to live FROM your enoughness.
Because it is as much a part of you as your heart, your soul, the very fabric of your DNA and so without it…
you are not being you
and what you choose
from that mis-taken place
is simply
not the thing
can not be
and never will be
It doesn’t feel right because it’s not right,
is the truth of the matter.
And this is not because you don’t deserve,
don’t get to have
but instead
it’s because you get it all, my child (He says)
all that I have planned for you
all that will be shown to you
all that always was for you
and it’s all right here waiting
in the place where you realise you are enough
always were
and so that
just ain’t it
and the things that are?
They come with calm already built in
Excitement is tethered with depth
YES and ‘let’s go!’ and ‘it’s on!” come from that still,
and certain place
and it is obvious
but fully
that THIS
is it
It doesn’t feel right because when it feels right
it is right
and there is no conversation
or consideration
which could make you move
on that
It doesn’t feel right because it’s not
and you can continue to give your life
to push it forward anyway
or you can throw your hands up today
SURRENDER
and flow immediately to
what is
It doesn’t feel right because it’s not right.
And I suppose we could have just started and ended with that.
So let’s leave it there,
where it belongs
and will remain.
And as we do let’s not forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat
